I found out this past week that a good friend of mine is expecting her 3rd baby, and I'm so excited for their family! We were chatting back and forth about what her other two children thought. She said, "Well, Ethan says he's excited about a baby, but doesn't want a brother OR a sister" (He just turned 4), and Zooey, doesn't have a clue (She's almost 2). She continued to go on about how she's excited and scared at the same time, because it will no longer be a one-on-one situation with her husband. I took that moment to impart my 'Mom of 3 Wisdom' on her. :)
Becoming a parent at any point is always scary, for everyone! I remember when our oldest was born. Even though I read every book ever published about infants, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. I still felt basically helpless. Of course there were many older, much wiser mothers who assured me things would be just fine and I would figure it out. Somehow we stumbled our way through that first year and thought we did a pretty good job! However, all of that changed when we went from 1-2. Not only was my pregnancy with Kilian 1000% different from the first, 2 kids was something I had NO CLUE how to handle. Thinking back on it now-that was ok!!! Nobody could figure life out for us, it was up to the two of us, well-3 of us! I only thought it would be easier the second time around....our little boy didn't come as predicted and life started out pretty rough. Even more so, we had every possible complication with breastfeeding one could come into contact with. Life was hard. But, we pushed forward and made it through. That first year with 2 kids taught me SO MUCH about raising toddlers, being a parent, and learning how to be a good mother.
Then, came Karli. At first I was really nervous about going from 2-3. As I'm telling this story to my friend, Anna, I can't help but laugh. I remember being overly concerned about everything with Klaire. What she was eating, how much she slept, making sure she had the right material of clothes on that wouldn't be itchy, or allowing her any kind of screen time, etc. When Karli came, all bets were off. While things may have transitioned easier the third time, Mama had finally found her stride. Some days we were in pure survival mode-living it up watching cartoons and eating cereal on the couch if we were in a growth spurt. Other days, I got up and put my big girl pants on and felt like a GOOD mom. I shared this very important thing with Anna-life will be nothing like you think it will. There will be hard days where you feel like you can't take anymore. There will be nights where you get no sleep but have to get up the next morning and take care of the little humans who depend on you. You will feel feelings that you never knew existed, but you will also feel the most tremendous joy that you've ever experienced in your life. Hold on to THOSE moments, because when people tell you it goes to fast? It really does.
But, in those moments where you reheated your coffee 13 times or haven't showered in 4 days, give me a call. Text your mom. Tell someone, anyone that you need help. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom, it means you need a break too. Don't be too proud to realize that it's ok to take a break sometimes. Laundry will still be there tomorrow, the dishes will always need to be done. But your babies will only be babies for so long, so take that nap with them! Go play outside in the dirt instead of washing dishes. If anything, ANY kind of wisdom I can pass on to other mothers-be present. Stop, think, forget all the Have To Do's and focus on the important things...like watching your daughter tying her shoe by herself for the first time, or maybe see your son help his baby sister up the slide. It's those small moments that end up mattering, not an immaculate house.
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